Every day I receive countless requests for assistance, and there is never time to answer all of the worthy people who seek my help. Yes, that is correct: even Apelord cannot mold time to his will, and I, like other physical entities on this plane of existance, must reserve time for especially important tasks. Sadly, some of the many needy people who require my aid do not receive it. For this I apologize profusely.

Nevertheless, many of the requests I receive ask not for advice on specific issues, but rather they inquire as to general principles for living one's life to the fullest. As I am not a god (see one of the letters in the Ask Apelord archives for further clarification), I cannot in good conscience dictate the rules of living for others. (Perhaps Prangor would oblige you, if that kind of authoritarian path is what you seek.) No, the most I can do is offer you the seven proverbs that rule my life. I do not encourage you to adhere to my philosophy, but you are free to extract any wisdom that these proverbs offer. Please note also that Apelord, as an alien, a psychic, and an astrologer, is not necessarily representative of the possible results of a human following the rules.

Apelord's Seven Proverbs

  1. Live every day as if it were the day after tomorrow
    1. If you worry overmuch about the future, it will always find a way to trouble you. By living as if it is the future, you relegate the worries of the future to the challenges of today. Or something.
  2. It is harder to unmake an enemy than to unmake a friend
    1. Unless you treat your friends like tile mildew -- Apelord makes no guarantee that he can fix your screwed-up life.
  3. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate
    1. Apelord once saw this as graffiti in a biochemistry laboratory. It was clearly some sort of sign.
  4. Understanding may rely on standpoint, but be attentive to occasions when it does not
    1. Suffering can only be understood by someone who has suffered, but one does not have to explode to understand explosions. Hopefully.
  5. There is wisdom in the simplest of things
    1. Except "America's Funniest Home Videos." That's just sad.
  6. You can only know yourself inasmuch as you know how other people know you
    1. If you wish to see the wisdom in this statement, think back to high school and try to remember the kid who was firmly convinced that he was cool, but he wasn't.
  7. They say that common sense isn't as common as they say it is
    1. Apelord cheerfully admits that this is merely a bad paraphrase of Voltaire, but Apelord prefers the irony of this version.

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